Saying goodbye to guilt

For foster carers ‘goodbye’ can sometimes be tinged with heartache and guilt.

Living a life revolving around providing a loving and caring home for youngsters who can’t live with their birth families, there is no wonder carers are faced with mixed emotions when saying goodbye to someone who has been such an important part of their family.

Left wondering “what if”, “did I do the right thing” and “have I made a difference”, many carers can only hope that their care, support and guidance has made a positive impact on a child or young person’s life.

Two years after an emotional goodbye, one Trust Fostering carer found comfort in having these questions answered with a chance meeting. Bumping into the young person whilst shopping, any feelings of guilt and regret around a sad ending to a foster placement, quickly slipped away.

The pair chatted. The teenager, once full of angst and rebellion, is now a young man who is incredibly grateful of the care, support and guidance provided by their foster carer; even if they didn’t realise it at the time.

Proudly telling the carer how he has almost finished his apprenticeship, has got himself back ‘on the rails’ and wanted to get in touch to say ‘thank you’ so many times, things finally came full circle for a foster carer who had always wondered if they did the right thing.

Many people will ask “how do you do it” or “how do you say goodbye”. Knowing your influence on someone can be so powerful that they can completely change their life, is all the motivation our carers need to keep making a difference.

Find out more about how you could join our Trust Fostering family by calling our experienced social work team on 0808 129 2600 or visiting